Monday, July 30, 2007

Viva le Tour or We can watch Sponge Bob Again

Viva Le Tour...

The end of it that its! When le Tour (de France that is) rolls into Paris is cause for celebration. The bike race is over and we can watch TV again. OurDad doesn't just watch le Tour-- he lives it. In the morning during what he thinks is the "live" broadcast he sets up his trainer in front of the TV and rides his bike along with the boys in the peleton. So we can't watch Sponge Bob in the morning. Then when that broadcast is over he gets around to getting us something to eat so we can start our day at 11:00. But before we know it it's time for the afternoon broadcast so he makes us play outside!

So you'd think by evening we get a crack at the TV, but noooo. Unbelievably he's got GreatMom hooked on this le Tour thing too. So in the evening it's on again so she can watch it. Thanks Versus. Lucky for us OurDad's not into bull riding or extreme cage fighting.

If you don't know much about le tour then you may not understand our frustration. This bike race lasts three weeks-- all of July year in and year out. Can you imagine our pain: we are forced to play out side for nearly the entire month of July-- in Michigan!

Viva le end of le Tour!

However, le Tour isn't the only tour and now I think I know why OurDad is trying to move us all to Missouri. At first I thought this was some kind of redneck joke but apparently it's billed as the #3 race in the country and the Dico boys will be there!

Actually we still think this "Tour of Missouri" may be the biggest punk in cycling history. I want to see the looks on George and Levi's faces when they see the Missourah bicicle race. I just hope this one's not on Versus.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Tora Tora Tora part 3

OurDad still doesn't have a truck. That means if we want to go somewhere we have to ride our bikes. It's getting old.

Quality Auto told OurDad today that they can't figure out what's wrong with it. They've had it about a month, that should be enough time to find all the coins under the cushions much less figure out why nearly shakes to pieces at 40 mph. Did we tell you that last week they did mention something about a guy at the shop who needs a truck.

Hey Dad do you know what fish smells like?

OurDad told them to put it back together and drive it.

Stay tuned for part 4 tomorrow when OurDad leans if putting a broken truck back together without fixing it makes any difference, and for part 5 when we drive across the state, yet again, to get the truck. What we'll do with it god knows.

I just hope OurDad remembers the pinkslip, because I think he's going to need it.

What? OurDad is Going to St. Louis without Us?

We knew being a professor at New U was important to OurDad and even GreatMom wanted to move back to St. Louis, but if he's going without us that's not exactly moving to St. Louis. On one hand it's great we don't have to leave our friends. But how are we supposed to keep this blog going if we can observe OurDad doing ridiculous things like moving to St. Louis without us!

The excuse we being fed is something about supply and demand and 17 houses for sale, including four foreclosures, in our neighborhood. We didn't want an economics lesson we just wanted to know why OurDad is "going to St. Louis ahead of us."

We are also wondering if this has anything to do with the puppy we were promised when we all got to St. Louis...

The Blackout has been lifted!

Because OurDad is finished reading Harry Potter.

All week last week he kept us underground-- no TV, Internet or newspapers-- just to keep anyone from spoiling it. Now were making him read it out loud to us because he would let us even touch at all over the weekend as he hid in his room only appearing for meals and to go to the bathroom. He doesn't even do this when a new Philip Roth novel comes out.

He's just crazy, Harry Potter Crazy!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Tora Tora Tora part 2

After we watched Mom ride all the roller coasters at Michigan Adventure we headed back to Fruitport to pick up OurDad's truck. The Fruitport Grease monkey at Quality Auto was real nice and said we could leave it there for the day in stead of driving both cars up to Michigan Adventure. That was great except that OurDad didn't drive it at all! Sure Grease Monkey said, "it's fine I drove it around the block."

Well I don't think he drove it over 30 mph, because if he had he might have noticed the whole thing nearly shake apart. So it's 8pm on July 3rd: GreatMom has taken the day off work and drug us three hours across the state to get OurDad's Truck, Quality Auto is closed and will be the next day, July 4th, the truck could be driven home at 30 mph, if you wanted to take six hours to get back to D-town that is if you weren't blown off the road by everyone else that doing 80 mph, we are hungry, GreatMom is doing her best not to offer any unsolicited advice, OurDad is so pissed he's reached some zehn like state in which he has surrendered to the universe which of course means he could snap at any second.

I couldn't believe it OurDad didn't even curse. It's actually really bad when he's too mad to use swear words. We all stayed real quite in the Honda with GreatMom as we followed OurDad back to Quality Auto. We silently helped OurDad empty out the truck in case this next repair bill was a death sentence. We just went on to Grand Haven because we didn't think it'd be safe to sit in the car with him for three hours. We hoped hanging out in Grand Haven, the lake side resort town just down the road would help diffuse him, but by the time we got there all the restaruants were closed. This only made OurDad quieter. The only word he'd utter was, "sure."

It's Cheaper and More Fun than Genetic Paternity Testing

We went to pick up OurDad's Pickup on Tuesday. For those of you following the Tora, Tora, Tora saga Quality Auto of Fruitport, Michigan was able to fix OurDad's truck for just $260! And after we paid for the repairs we went to Michigan Adventure. We were planning on going to the beach, but GreatMom was in a very rare spontaneous mood so went went for it. So what if it's more expensive than the beach, it's a lot less than Cedar Point.

We went to the water park first. The BoyChild and I hung out in the wave pools, but it got cloudy so it was too cold to turn blue and shiver in the lines for the water slides. That's a Michigan summer day, sunny and warm one minute and teeth chattering the next. I swear a Michigan tan comes in various shades of blue. No wonder we had the place nearly to ourselves. Since it was cold we decided to get out of our freezing wet swimsuits and back into our clothes so we could go eat lunch and ride the rides. After lunch, of course, the sun came back out, but GreatMom had packed our suits away in the Honda and was strolling back to the park at a pace we could hardly keep up with. She hadn't joined us in the wave pools claiming it was too cold, but we saw her gazing longingly toward the roller coasters at the other end of the park. There was no getting back into our suits no matter how hot it got.

I said I'd try a small one. I kind of like rides if they aren't too big, but OurDad and the BoyChild refused to ride anything. "Dear, I don't think the sensation of careening of a ledge is entertaining," said OurDad. "I think Dad's right. I don't think car crashes are fun," said the BoyChild trying to make it sound perfectly smart to pay $24 to watch everyone else ride the rides. "Well at least someone is brave enough to go with me," said great Mom as she grabbed my arm and drug me toward the Mad Mouse. At least she didn't try to make me ride the Shivering Timbers. The Mad Mouse was ok, but that only encouraged her, and she made me ride the log thing. At the very top, with the boys safe on the ground, I asked Mom if I could get off and walk down. She laughed at me as we started to fall off the Earth and I screamed. She said, "you and your brother are definitely your father's children."

We didn't have to wait long while we watched GreatMom ride every coaster in the park. Thank God almost no one else in Michigan likes roller coasters either, that's why the park was so empty. But as scary as those rides look she sure seemed happy that afternoon. Our Dad said they could close Guantanamo and send all those terrorists to amusement parks around the country. After a few round trips strapped into some of our nations best roller coasters they'd tell us anything we'd want to hear, some may even be screaming for Jesus.

It was a real bonding experience being there safe on the ground with OurDad. He said that even though GreatMom was so strange we shouldn't make fun of her for it.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Tora Tora Tora

OurDad and I made it back from the Silversides submarine, but not before his truck was torpedoed!

Our Scout troop went to Muskegon on the other side of the state to camp on the Silversides submarine on Friday. We got to bunk in the sub overnight. It's awesome, but we all agreed just for one night. The Silversides was one of the most decorated subs in WWII history, and maybe the luckiest--they lost only one man throughout the war. Submarine duty was the most deadly in the entire war, and after sleeping on a sub for just one night we wondered if the real danger wasn't from crewmates. Imagine living in a 300 foot long metal tube that's only 20 feet in diameter with 80 men, most of them not showered, for weeks on end, and oh yeah, it's 200 feet under water most of the time.

Ok is wasn't really a torpedo attack, but I think it was sabotage, so it's still a sneak attack of sorts. The truck had been making horrible, thrown bearing, sounds for a couple of weeks. OurDad knew something bad was coming, that's why we think it was an inside job. You want more evidence... OurDad took it to a muffler shop a couple weeks ago. They told him, "it's definitely making a strange sound, but we can't pinpoint it. We think you should drive it until it's clearer what's wrong with it." They didn't say to drive it to Muskegon! Who takes a drive train problem to a muffler shop, unless of course what they want is a new truck.

At least it didn't die on the way to the sub so I got to camp, but getting home... Well we lucked out there. Another scout family, Thank you mister R, Found Off Road Dead ranger and stoped for us. They were headed to their cabin up north so we got to add a bonus day to our trip, but the cost was one truck. OurDad was so disgusted, or perhaps delighted, that we didn't even wait for the tow. The tuck is currently in Fruitland, Michigan at Quality Auto, anyone know where that is? We're awaiting a final diagnosis, but it looked pretty DOA to me.

Decisions decisions, fix it, junk it, haul it to a Ford dealer or trust the small town guy, buy a used car here or wait until we get to StL.... and what about the stuff we left in the truck. Looks to me like he's scammed another trip to Lake Michigan too.

If you have advice for OurDad please leave a comment.