Monday, September 24, 2007

The Tour of Boredom

We went to Missery last week for that Tour of Missouri thing, and to see OurDad. Well we think GreatMom just wanted to see George. The whole thing was boring, and OurDad and GreatMom acted like total idiots. Thank God Lance thought he was too good to show up even though it was his team's last race ever. God, had they actually see Lance they would have wet them selves in public. It was bad enough that we had to go to the race on Friday for the end of stage 4 in Columbia, Missery. They just went ape.

On Saturday it was worse they took pictures and got autographs while they ran around the state like school-girl groupies. First to Jefferson city for the start of stage 5 and then they ran to the car and drove like idiots to get to the KOM, that's King of the Mountain, point of the race 90 miles away. Hello there are no mountains in Missery. As it was the riders just rolled over the whopping 500 feet of elevation at maybe 8% like it was a turd in the road. Then they tried to get to the finish in St. Charles, but they just missed the riders there. They probably cried over that one. They stayed for all the awards, boring. Really all they wanted to see was George, George, George.

Here's a picture GreatMom took of George in the yellow leaders jersey. He and his team the Disco boys grabbed it on the second day of the race. It was a joke. They had no competition at all, and walked away with the overall win for George with little effort. It really was the world class verses the rednecks of cycling. Don't believe it was a redneck event: On stage 2 a rider hit a road kill armadillo. He crashed resulting in a broken collar bone and was forced to abandon the race. That will never ever happen in Europe.

I'm so glad they dumped us off the OurDad's Dad and Mom on Saturday.

First Mountain Biking then Golfing and now Fishing

This could be worse than we thought. Apparently Ludicrous U has a 1000 acer field site and historic pioneer village complete with trails and fishing ponds. Again very suspicions! He stayed out there last weekend, and guess what he did; he went fishing and mountain biking.

Oh sure, he called it field work, but we know what he's up to-- he's OurDad. He was the personal guest of the field site's director. We'll call him Conservation Guru. The Guru lives on site in one of the historic stone pioneer houses with his dog and cat. Apparently the Guru is desperate for company and OurDad was all too willing make the Guru feel at home. Well the Guru was at home, unlike OurDad.

OurDad just raved about the place and said it had all sorts of potential, but he didn't say for what. Hey we are the ones up here in Michigan with the puppy. The whole reason we got the puppy was so OurDad would come back and see us every few weeks.

This Ludicrous U thing better be worth it because we miss OurDad.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Where the Hell has OurDad Been?

After a month at New U we thought OurDad would come crying home to moma, meaning GreatMom, but apparently not. Perhaps all that time being a stay-at-home dad actally taught him to take care of himself. But that still doesn't explain how he's waking up at six each morning and actually being in the classroom and ready to teach, meaning dressed, by 8- am! "I wish I was there to see it", said GreatMom. "He's never been anywhere at 8:00 in the morning if it didn't involve fishing, golfing or mountain biking."

This made us wonder: Just what is dad teaching at New U. We did a little research into New U and it doesn't look good. For one it's not new at all it's more than 100 years old, and for west of the Mississippi that's pretty old. OurDad has said they do things a little differently there, but we thought he was talking about having to teach at 8:00 in the morning. Check this they have a cycling team--very suspicious! A cycling team at a university in America that's strange and maybe unAmerican. They also list flyfishing classes in their catalog, again very suspicious. Sure OurDad says he's teaching biology there, but we think he's trying to weasel his way into teaching things like Sports Nutrition for Cycling Fitness or the Molecular Biology of the Missouri Brown trout Salmo trutta redneckii or Genetic Engineering for Golf Course Sod Management.

Let's face it there's got to be something wrong with any place that'd hire OurDad to be in charge of a group of willful twenty year olds. It's just the place for him-- Ludicrous U.

If the housing market doesn't turn around soon allowing us to move there to be with him, we may never see OurDad again because he sure won't want to leave Ludicrous U for the Old CC or the frozen waste land of Michigan.