Cinco de Mayo

In our house we are very serious about our language. No, not English. I mean swear words. If some one says the S word they get a warning, even OurDad. Same for the D word. “Stupid and Dumb are mean and hurtful words.” However, they do sometimes apply like on Friday night. We usually go out to eat on Friday nights, and everyone takes turns choosing where we go. But some choices are just stupid, and it’s dumb that we can’t go to MacDonald’s or Burger King on Friday nights. Well, this Friday it was Cinco de Mayo, and OurDad insisted on eating Mexican. We argued, and I got in trouble for saying it was stupid to celebrate Mexican Independence in America, ok the US. But it is stupid.

When we go to the restaurant, the one where the authentic Mexican band sings Ole Ole a lot, it was packed. We were saved we thought. There were people shoulder to shoulder on the deck and cars parked across the street in a vacant lot. Great Mom started to crack, “it doesn’t look like Mexican was such a great idea, hun.” Dhuu, it was OurDad’s idea, and it’s Cinco de Mayo.

OurDad insisted, “I’ll just run in and see how long a wait to get a table.” With the place looking totally packed Great Mom figured it was safe and let him go. We weren’t so sure. You have to understand that if OurDad wants to eat somewhere he’d wait till we all starve for a table. A hostess could tell him 45 minutes, and he’s come back to the car saying, “lets go, they can seat us right away.”

“We’re really hungry, now.” the Boy Child and I claimed hoping Great mom would take our side. No luck he was gone. This place was bursting with bodies, and Great Mom thought we were safe from even OurDad’s determination.

When OurDad came back claiming, “hey we’re next on the list.” I thought it was a clever new lie, and I couldn’t believe Great Mom fell for it, but he was telling to truth. The place was packed, but they had a table for us because it was packed with people standing around the bar getting drunk. It was horrible, and I couldn’t believe Great Mom would do this to us. It was the loudest place I have ever been in. Every one was talking, and that Mexican band was playing, Ole Ole over and over. People were even smoking, which makes the Boy Child nearly sick. “We don’t want to eat here,” we screamed, but Great Mom couldn’t hear us. The chips came and even the Boy Child abandoned me, they all stuffed their faces till the food came. I think their chips are stupid.

It was so packed with drunk people they were bumping into us and dancing everywhere when the band played. I don’t know what was wrong with these grownups, but Great Mom and OurDad seemed to think it was just great. Then OurDad tried to get me to Dance, I screamed, “NO WAAAY,” as loud as I could.

When we finally finished eating and got up to leave we had to push our way through stumbling adults to the door. Once we were out on the deck the smoke was gone and we could breath again. The blasting noise and music were gone and I could hear again. There were just a few men left in the chilled air on the deck arguing about birds.

“I don’t give a Fuck about the regular season, the Red Wings are Assholes during the playoffs.

That made up for the whole night. When we got to the car I said, “I heard the F word, and the A word. The real ones!”

It’s not exactly family night on Cinco de Mayo.

That’s OurDad