Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Our Poor Bea

OurDad says Beatrice was named for a character from Shakespeare's comedy Much Ado About Nothing. GreatMom and OurDad say she's always played the part being so bossy and barky, but now our comedy has turned into a tragedy by way of cancer. We're gonna loose her soon.

Last night we all slept in the family room with her, and we will for as long as we can.

6 comments:

SourDad said...

Sure the old switcheroo works with aquarium fish, but not with a 90 pound golden retriever.

We are in a world of hurt.

Miranda said...

:(

Bea is with the people she loves most which is the best any of us can hope for.

Marty said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your pup shan... My heart goes out to you, my friend.

SourDad said...

The vet thought we'd have a about a week. I thought now way could she fade that fast. We were both wrong. We leaned Bea had cancer on Tuesday, and by Wednesday near midnight she passed. We all slept on the floor with her Tuesday night.

Wednesday she seemed to bounce back. She got the newspaper in the morning and played in the snow, and at the end of the day she greeted each of us as we came home with near usual tail waging, prancing and barking.

By 7pm something had changed I couldn't, or wouldn't tell what. She was very anxious and wouldn't lay down. She have short gagging bouts and they'd pass until she finally thew up a pile of white foam. Our vet was, by now, out of the office and we deiced to try to make her comfortable at home. We were so glad that we had told the kids the night before that she was sick. but the cries of "Beatrice is going to die to night." were unbearable. We got her to lay down, hoping she would pass soon, at home with us. She was peaceful and the kids went to sleep before she began to struggle. We rolled her onto a blanket and carried her to the car in it. We tried to rush her to a 24 hour clinic to put her down, but she went quietly before we got there so we brought her back home. I happened too fast and our vet he deserves a life.

We waited too long and then at the end we didn't wait long enough.

It was only after I'd gotten some sleep that my feckless brain figured out what had happened. She never vommited. The white foam was from her lungs, they were perforated, and every breath leaked out of her them and into her body and that's why he was bloating. When we rolled her over to get her on to the blankets and into the car the fluid in her lungs spread to her clear side and she drowned. she was so weak she hardly struggled.

In the morning we all said good bye to her one last time. GreatMom told the BoyChild and the Girl child that Bea was in heaven now, and I was ashamed: I don't believe in the soul. And I wondered if Beatrice was my Killyjoy. Had I only the brains to figure it out, or the courage to rush when it was time, or was it the heart? There I certainly lack.

Where are you Dorothy? I can't think about forgiveness. Just give me the whole bucket I want to see what'll happen.

Phoebe said...

She knew nothing in her last moments but the intense outpouring of love and attention you gave her. I feel for you, SourDad's family. I had a virtual cry on Miranda's shoulder a few weeks ago when I had my sweet old cat put down. I felt I had waited too long, too. But when I finally did it, it was on a day I could really be with her and that day means so much to me still. I'm so glad your kids could really connect that one last time.

SourDad said...

Thanks everyone,

We're all doing much better now.

But boy is it quiet when come home.