Thursday, July 05, 2007

It's Cheaper and More Fun than Genetic Paternity Testing

We went to pick up OurDad's Pickup on Tuesday. For those of you following the Tora, Tora, Tora saga Quality Auto of Fruitport, Michigan was able to fix OurDad's truck for just $260! And after we paid for the repairs we went to Michigan Adventure. We were planning on going to the beach, but GreatMom was in a very rare spontaneous mood so went went for it. So what if it's more expensive than the beach, it's a lot less than Cedar Point.

We went to the water park first. The BoyChild and I hung out in the wave pools, but it got cloudy so it was too cold to turn blue and shiver in the lines for the water slides. That's a Michigan summer day, sunny and warm one minute and teeth chattering the next. I swear a Michigan tan comes in various shades of blue. No wonder we had the place nearly to ourselves. Since it was cold we decided to get out of our freezing wet swimsuits and back into our clothes so we could go eat lunch and ride the rides. After lunch, of course, the sun came back out, but GreatMom had packed our suits away in the Honda and was strolling back to the park at a pace we could hardly keep up with. She hadn't joined us in the wave pools claiming it was too cold, but we saw her gazing longingly toward the roller coasters at the other end of the park. There was no getting back into our suits no matter how hot it got.

I said I'd try a small one. I kind of like rides if they aren't too big, but OurDad and the BoyChild refused to ride anything. "Dear, I don't think the sensation of careening of a ledge is entertaining," said OurDad. "I think Dad's right. I don't think car crashes are fun," said the BoyChild trying to make it sound perfectly smart to pay $24 to watch everyone else ride the rides. "Well at least someone is brave enough to go with me," said great Mom as she grabbed my arm and drug me toward the Mad Mouse. At least she didn't try to make me ride the Shivering Timbers. The Mad Mouse was ok, but that only encouraged her, and she made me ride the log thing. At the very top, with the boys safe on the ground, I asked Mom if I could get off and walk down. She laughed at me as we started to fall off the Earth and I screamed. She said, "you and your brother are definitely your father's children."

We didn't have to wait long while we watched GreatMom ride every coaster in the park. Thank God almost no one else in Michigan likes roller coasters either, that's why the park was so empty. But as scary as those rides look she sure seemed happy that afternoon. Our Dad said they could close Guantanamo and send all those terrorists to amusement parks around the country. After a few round trips strapped into some of our nations best roller coasters they'd tell us anything we'd want to hear, some may even be screaming for Jesus.

It was a real bonding experience being there safe on the ground with OurDad. He said that even though GreatMom was so strange we shouldn't make fun of her for it.


SourDad said...

The real reason I don't ride those rides with my wife isn't that they scare the hell, among other things, out of me--they do. The real reason is that I prefer that she thinks I'm afraid of those rides. If she saw me on one of those things relinquishing my deeply held agnosticism with squealing cries of "Jesus Please Save ME!" she'd know just how afraid...

Dorky Dad said...

I love roller coasters. My problem is that my wife does not like roller coasters. Therefore,e I'm working on raising a Pro-Roller coaster son.