Friday, December 22, 2006

Could OurDad be a Pedophile like James Perry?

Yesterday OurDad said something disturbing, “My pee is radioactive.” I just don’t think my brother and I should be exposed to such cryptoeroticism, and it made me wonder what other weirdness we’ve been exposed to throughout our young lives. Then I read today’s Detroit Free Press article on the conviction of James Perry for molesting children.

The evidence against Mr. Perry is shocking, and even more shocking are the similarities to OurDad!

Perry is a teacher. OurDad is a teacher.

Perry has hundreds of pictures of children in his house. OurDad has hundreds of pictures of children in our house.

Perry has videotaped children. OurDad has videotaped children.

Perry had hundreds of children’s films like The Lion King, or Harry Potter. We have those same movies. We have more kid’s videos and DVD’s at our house than I can count.

Experts quoted in the Free Press article stated that pedophiles often become teachers, scout leaders or coaches to get closer to their victims. OurDad is all three! He coaches the BoyChild’s soccer team, and he’s the leader of the BoyChild’s Cub Scout den.

Perry has been warned not to sit children on his lap. We have sat in OurDad’s lap like a gazillion times.

Perry lived next door to a school. We live close to our school.

I know that pedophiles are adults that like to do weird sex things to boys and girls. OurDad is always doing weird stuff, but I’m not sure if it’s sexy though. Maybe if someone coached me I’d get it right. Now that I think of it OurDad has seen us naked. In fact, and the BoyChild confirmed this, he wasted no time and peered at our exposed naked bodies. He saw us naked on the very day we were born.

I’m really scared, please someone tell me, Do you think OurDad is a pedophile?


SourDad said...

I hope you have enjoyed another episode from the Theater of the Absurd AKA Human Intolerance. I am no more a pedophile than James Perry is. What a Joke. Perry’s only crime is caring for children while being male. Clearly a condition so odd in our society as to be suspect of the worst criminal offence, child molestation.

The key piece of evidence against Perry that got this whole thing snowballing his life straight to hell was that the main accuser appeared scared on his first day of kindergarten. Duh, the first day of kindergarten is one of the biggest transitions of one’s life.

The real crime here is that a couple parents have coached their kids into believing something bad happened to them on their first day of school. I’d chalk this up to an over-ambitious prosecutor, and an over litigious society. Yes at least one of the families is sewing the school district, and the case will be in the bag if the Perry conviction is upheld.

James Perry has joined Jose Padilla as the 21st century’s version of Joseph K. from Kafka’s The Trial. It may be sheer genius that Kafka left this Novel unfinished. Because as long as there is a justice system run by humans that there will be trials like this.

If James Perry is a pedophile maybe I am too. I challenge you, David Gorcyca, you over zealous moron of a prosecutor COME AND GET ME!

SourDad said...

Oh yeah that radioactive pee thing, it's true. I had a stress test the other day using cardiolite. I’m feeling good and I think I passed!

Miranda said...

How did I miss radioactive pee the first time around?

(Nice links, btw)

Stewart Sternberg said...

I just thought I would stop and wish you a Merry Christmas. Here's to mutual blogging and continued dialogue through the coming years. Enjoy your family and friends.