Four Legs Good, Star Wars Baaaaad

Boy child here: Newsflash, I have all the reading material I will ever need, thanks to the extensive network of authors working in cooperation with Lucasfilm Ltd. Sure I’ll read the last Harry Potter and Eragon books too, but I’m not waiting around for those to come out. I love the Star Wars books, there’s Jude Watson’s Jedi Quest series, Elizabeth Hand’s Boba Fett series, the Jedi Apprentice books, and the Last of the Jedi books, there’s books set between the movies, and even before the movies start and end. There’s too many to count, it’s amazing. You should read them!

But at our house they’re practically banned books. “How can’t expect to become president some day if all you’ve ever read is this Star Wars stuff,” says OurDad. I have to hide this Lucas limited contraband in my backpack, and I’m forced to read it in the dark with a flashlight. Can’t a kid be a kid? It’s bad enough that we have to listen to all his Lit land books on tape whenever we are in the car with him. Oh the curse words the Girl Child and I hear. I’ve tried reading his recommendations but they are booooring, and now he’s insisting I read some book about animals that take over the farm. I got as far as the singing sheep and I couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe if they had laser cannons it would be more fun.
“You can’t do any more book reports on Star Wars”, he says.
I don’t care if the animal book is short, I don’t want to read it or the book about king of the flies, or the pearl thing or the one about the pony, and please no biographies real people are boring.

So what’s a kid to read?

God help me if he wants me to read the special issue of Witness on Exile in America that just came in the mail today.

That’s our Dad